The Leadership Skill We All Think We’ve Mastered (But Haven’t): Delegation
There’s one theme that comes up with almost every single leadership coaching client: delegation.
The funny thing is, it comes up when we’re talking about needing more space to think strategically at work AND it comes up when we’re talking about navigating summer camp Tetris. The same patterns emerge. People know, logically, that they need to delegate. They understand that delegation is the key to getting $hit done, creating space to think, and avoiding burnout.
And yet… they don’t delegate.
Sound familiar?
If so, you’re not alone. Delegation is not just a tactical skill; it’s an emotional one. And the biggest barrier I see isn’t a lack of know-how. We know how to delegate. What we struggle with is our mindset about what it means to delegate.
Why We Resist Delegating
Let’s get real about the stories we tell ourselves when we hesitate to delegate:
“It’s just faster if I do it myself.”
“I don’t want to burden someone else.”
“What if they don’t do it the way I would?”
“If I hand this off, will they think I’m not pulling my weight?”
“This is just too important. It has to be me.”
These thoughts often operate in the background, unnoticed but powerful. They keep us in the loop of over-responsibility, overwork, and ultimately, overwhelm. And they show up in both our professional and personal spheres.
At work, it might look like taking on the edits to a presentation the week of a big meeting, because you want it “just right.” At home, it might mean continuing to manage every playdate, dentist appointment, and meal plan, because you worry about letting go or you don’t trust it’ll get done – let alone get done the way you want.
Here’s the kicker: most leaders I work with are surrounded by people who want to help or take more ownership. But they can’t step in fully if we don’t let them.
Delegation is a Leadership Muscle
Our reluctance to delegate is often driven by good intentions. We want to support others, maintain quality, or show we’re dependable. But when that turns into doing everything ourselves, we unintentionally reinforce a dynamic where we’re always the bottleneck or the fixer.
And while delegation may feel like letting go of control, it’s actually the opposite. It’s a way to intentionally shape how you spend your energy, so you can lead more effectively and live more sustainably.
At face value, delegation is about efficiency. But it’s also about trust, boundaries, and growth - both yours and others’. We must build trust that others will step up. We need boundaries to know when to step in. And we must allow for growth – which means, getting it wrong a couple of times.
Reflection: What’s Really Holding You Back?
If you’re feeling stuck in a cycle of doing too much, consider these questions:
What stories do I tell myself about delegating?
(e.g., “If I don’t do it, it won’t get done right.” “My worth comes from being helpful.” “I’m the only one who knows how.”)Where in my life am I holding on too tightly and what’s the impact?
(Is it robbing you of time for higher-impact work? Space to rest? Opportunities for others to grow?)What am I afraid will happen if I delegate and so what if it does?
(Sometimes we need to say it out loud to realize it may not be as scary as we think.)
Take a moment to journal or talk these through with a colleague, friend, or coach. You might be surprised by what you uncover.
Try This: A Small Delegation Challenge
You don’t have to overhaul your life to shift your delegation mindset. In fact, I recommend starting small.
This week, choose 1 - 2 things to intentionally delegate. Choose tasks that feel safe but slightly uncomfortable. Tasks that challenge your assumptions but won’t cause major stress if they don’t go perfectly.
Here are a few examples:
At work: Have your team member lead a client call or write the first draft of that monthly report.
At home: Let your partner plan the weekend.
For you: Hire someone to clean once a month, or order a meal kit instead of cooking from scratch.
The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is to create an experiment that starts to rewire your beliefs about delegation. We don’t rewire these beliefs overnight. It takes new experiences. Lots and lots of new experiences.
Let me know what delegation experiments you try. I love hearing the creative ways leaders are learning to share the load.