Reviving Motivation: Get Unstuck
You know the feeling. You have something you should be doing or want to be doing and you have no motivation to do it. You're stuck. You don't know why, and your inner critic starts to get REALLY loud.
"Get moving!"
"You're just lazy!"
“What’s wrong with you?”
Unfortunately, that inner critic is probably not going to work. We are rarely able to shame ourselves into feeling truly motivated. As Brene Brown says, "Shame is the warm feeling that washes over us, making us feel small, flawed, and never good enough." Let's take a look at another approach.
What is motivation?
"The essence of motivation is energized and persistent goal-directed behavior. When we are motivated, we move and take action." - PositivePsychology.com
Easy enough. So when we lack motivation it's because our energy available to complete a goal feels dry. It's like trying to get a car to drive that has no gas. We've lost our fuel.
Why?
Physical exhaustion - You are actually physically exhausted. Our bodies need rest. I know as mothers we like to ignore this fact because it feels like we need to keep going and do all the things for everyone, but we do need rest. Real rest.
Mental exhaustion - See "physical exhaustion" above. Our brains need rest and quiet. All of the social media, news, and constant intake of information is exhausting. This also includes the mental energy needed to do hard or challenging things. If we anticipate something is going to be new, uncomfortable, boring, or some other version of unpleasant, it's going to take WAY more mental energy.
Loss of purpose - When we don't know why something is important, then why would we allocate our valuable energy resources to it? Our brain is like Does Not Compute.
Fear - Fear can trick us into thinking we've lost our energy. Really, it's that it takes a LOT of energy to do scary things and you have to really know WHY you're doing them.
This is, of course, simplified. There's a ton of research out there on the science and psychology of motivation. If you don't have time to read all that research (who the heck does?) then I propose three questions to help you tap back into your well of energy and "unstick" yourself.
One) What's my inner voice telling me when I move to tackle this task?
It's too hard. I'm too tired. It's not fun. This is stupid. This is meaningless. These thoughts can help you understand why you've lost your motivation. Dig in deep here. Sometimes our first thought might be "I'm too tired." but what we're really thinking is, "I'm too scared."
Two) What's the antidote to that voice and will I listen?
If your energy is low because you need rest, then you actually need real rest. You can argue all you want that you don't have time for it, but pushing through that leads to burnout. If your energy is low because you've lost a sense of purpose, how can you connect this goal or task to a higher-level goal? For example, I really don't like responding to emails and rarely have the motivation to do so. But, I know it's important to build relationships for my business, so I connect that task to a higher level "run a successful business" goal in order to get the energy. If you can't connect it to a higher-level goal, it's probably not something you will ever get motivation for and it needs to go.
Three) Does this loss of motivation seem task and time-bound or sustained and chronic?
We all experience occasional lapses in motivation. If your lack of motivation seems persistent and more general, it could be a sign that more support is needed. A chronic lack of motivation could be an indicator of burnout or depression, and I'd encourage you to seek out expert support.
In a nutshell, tackling a motivation slump is all about figuring out what's behind it and taking steps to turn things around. Instead of beating ourselves up, it's important to realize that being hard on ourselves doesn't really get the motivational juices flowing. Take a moment of reflection to get curious when you’re faced with a lack of motivation. By exploring these aspects with curiosity, you can uncover what's really going on and reconnect to your energy and drive. And remember, if it's a long-term struggle, reaching out for expert support is totally okay!